Nodus Tollens
Life doesn't make sense and a place where you are welcome to figure it out
Today, I’d like to introduce you to a word I recently learned: nodus tollens.
I love this word. I love that it exists—because it means this feeling is real, and it's shared. It's been felt deeply enough, by enough people, that someone gave it a name.
Nodus Tollens describes the disorienting realization that the story you’ve been living—your life, your role—no longer makes sense. It’s the internal collapse that happens when the expectations others have of you, and the ones you’ve held for yourself, suddenly don’t apply. What follows is often the dysregulation we call a life crisis.
Who am I? What do I want? Why isn’t this story making me happy?
A few days ago, I had a lovely lunch date with my husband. We sat face to face in a booth, surrounded by a modern-day castle. The building—once the clubhouse for an elite golf course—was now a restaurant with a carefully curated menu that met all my dietary needs. The food was good, but that wasn’t what stayed with us.
It was the place itself. The very spot where my husband had worked seventeen years ago when we were just “friends.”
As we ate, we reminisced. So much has changed since those days—our lives, our dreams, our sense of self. And yet, some things have stayed the same. We still have a pattern of making, what mainstream society might call, questionable decisions. We’ve overhauled our lives more times than we can count. And here we are, doing it again.
Together, we’ve stared down nodus tollens. A year ago, the weight of it nearly crushed us. We felt unmoored, breathless. He dreamed of flying—literally. I dreamed of writing—of pouring my soul onto a blank white screen. But we were tethered to roles we no longer recognized. He worked a full-time job. I was a nurse. We were raising children. Our dreams? Just out of reach.
Until we decided they weren’t.
We stopped waiting for permission. We stopped looking for guarantees. And we jumped.
He started flight school. I left nursing and began to write.
“I’m proud of us, Babe,” I said to him across the booth.
“Me too, Belinda,” he said, his smile quiet but sure.
That day, over lunch and memory, we sat in the stillness that follows a brave choice.
We stepped into the unknown, not because it was easy—but because we had each other. Because the ache of staying stuck had finally outweighed the fear of change.
That’s why I wrote my book, UNSTUCK—to show others that it’s possible to realign with your truest life. And it’s why I’m so excited to share this:
🌿 I’ve just opened a free Facebook group called Rooted & Rising: The Unstuck Journey Back to You
This is a sacred space for conversation, reflection, and community—a place to hear real-time advice and feel supported through your own transformation. We gather around stories, sparks, and honest beginnings. If you’re craving support, clarity, or simply connection as you walk into a new chapter… you’re not alone. I’m honored to hold space for your becoming.
As humans, we long for evidence that change can be safe. That the fire we’re walking through won’t consume us. That transformation—however scary—is worth it. I’ve walked through that fire. Again and again. And each time, I’ve come out more alive, more in love, and more open-hearted than before.
A few weeks ago, I spent over three hours on the phone with a close relative. We hadn’t spoken in a while and had a lot to catch up on. I told her about my novel and the joy it brings me. We talked about art, books, and the strange beauty of being human.
And then, she shared:
“I’m at the top of the corporate ladder. I make more money than I know what to do with… and I’m miserable.”
My heart ached for her. I asked, “If you could do anything—if no one was watching and money didn’t matter—what would you do?”
Without hesitation, she said, “I would design and sew costumes for live theater.”
The joy in her voice gave me chills.
“Then why don’t you?” I asked gently.
“I don’t know,” she said. But I did.
It was the expectations. The roles. The story she had been told to live.
“But I feel like it’s actually possible after hearing what you said,” she whispered.
We left it there. But later, I prayed. That one day, I might see her light up a stage with the costumes she dreams of creating. Because she deserves that joy. We all do.
To you, dear reader—waking up to your own nodus tollens:
I hope to inspire you to pursue your truest self.
To one day pause, look around, and say:
"I am happier than I’ve ever been. I feel authentic, free, and unapologetically me."
Each day, you choose your story.
You have the right, the power, and the safety to say:
This story no longer fits.
And I’m ready for a new one.
You get to choose.
It’s never too late.
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